Operation Flashpoint: Dragon Rising - PS3

Release Date:

09 October 2009

Viewing UK:

Also on USA.


Operation Flashpoint: Dragon Rising is set on the fictitious Russian island of Skira, a target of acquisition by the Chinese PLA. Your mission, as a soldier in the U.S. Marine Corps, is to forcefully address the situation before full-scale war erupts between the two countries. How you achieve your objectives is up to you, with the game allowing you the freedom to decide on the best course of action in a wide-open world. Employ real-life military strategies, issuing commands to flank, assault, and suppress, while guiding your squad into buildings, adjusting formations, and reacting to an enemy that will alter its tactics in real time. You can also commandeer tanks, jeeps, attack helicopters, and many other vehicles to complete mission goals.

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Lowly Worm

PlayStation 3


Now you know when we were all little retarded children who thought that Santa was real and dreamed of meeting this big fat bastard with a weird beard, which in the end turned out to be my grandfather in his red Christmas bondage outfit. Anyhow enough about my granddads past (love you really old man) you all seem to get the feeling of JOY AND HAPPINESS. A bit like when a father hears his wife has just given birth. This feeling lasted for around 6 months, then the feeling started to go numb, a bit like the feeling you get when you place your hand in icy water for a dare. This was mainly due to the news of the game supposedly being the most realistic shooter created but then hearing that it had been delayed, put back because of some gay technical glitch or error in code master’s computer systems. So this crap went on for around another 6 months and finally after I saw the first video of game play my heart leapt with joy and once again I made a very big sticky mess in my underwear (sorry mum)

Oh Yay I thought to myself, code masters have finally got their thumbs out of their arses and have managed to pull something together which looks at least half decent and resembles some kind of war. But then in the video came the patchy video movements of NPC's and your character running up behind some kind of metallic blob I later found out to be a floating tank. After seeing the whole video at E3 I thought to myself hmmm it looked ok at the start but then what the hell was wrong with the game and the way the people moved. It looked like the exact reverse of Michael Jackson's moon walk (god bless you jacko) but I quickly pushed this a side and thought to myself (don’t worry Daniel old chum, it’s only an early version of the game it will be fixed)

So a further 4-5 months passed and I waited in glee and anticipation for which I thought was the second coming, the release date had arrived and I thought to myself, sod school and education, I’m skipping the day off to go and buy this.

I then arrived at the retail shop I cannot name for certain legal reasons however I will say it is spelt with four letters in capitals and purple. And found out that some retard at code masters had decided to say, fuck it, they will have to wait because the game is too shit, if we release it now then no one will want to buy it. Oh bugger I thought to myself, I went through all that time saving up for something which won’t even come out for an indefinite time.

Now you know those girls which you want to get over but you still have the strong feelings for (DAMN YOU WOMAN) I guess I could go ahead and describe Operation Flashpoint 2 as providing that feeling. More and more time went by and I just couldn’t get her out of my head (the game you retards, the girl I still suffer with lol) but eventually her father (Code masters) finally released her from her chastity belt and set upon the gaming world. OH JOY I thought to myself yet again, and when the game was released upon the world I almost cried in joy (yes I sound like a fag)

So unlike you suckers out there who decided to buy it for the extortionate price I decided to buy the game off eBay still wrapped in the original copy:D but then came the waiting -_- The day finally came when I arrived home from college and found it lying on my bed like the saucy MILF you all dreaming of turning up onto your door step to later screw your brains out. Literally SCREW IT OUT, the game was placed into my PS3. Ok so you remember last line I said it literally screwed my brains out, well here is why. It wasn’t a good kind of screw, it was the kind of screw where you get a power drill from D.I.Y, B&Q or any other hardware store and you place it onto your head, and then press the button to screw you.

The first mission involved me taking out some missile defenses. I spend half an hour running up to the point where I can blow something puma try to kill my enemies, in which case I come across my major problem. To kill the enemy, you need to shoot them at least 3-4 times. But what takes the piss, is the fact that you blow your rounds into them and all they seem to do is stand there taking it whilst firing back and not falling to the floor screaming in agony. I mean come on FFS Code masters I thought you said this game was suppose to be realistic not spastic.

After combating the enemy for what felt like forever planted some explosives on the missiles and ran what I felt was an adequate distance in which instance I press the big shiny button which makes every gamer happy at which point I get flown back and my screen becomes covered in a dark brownie red. WHAT THE F*** WAS THAT I shouted to myself, at which point the loading screen reverts to the start of my last check point, which may I add was right at the beginning of the bloody mission. I then proceed to do what I tried before in the last bloody 45 minutes.

Now remember when I told you about that video at E3, the one about the big metallic blob which I found out to be a floating tank. Yeah guess what, it returned with a vengeance. In all the time they spent at Code masters promising us a cure to AIDS, they forgot to make the movement of character smoother, the vegetation better, vegitably and the vehicles seem manlier.

Oh bugger I seemed to have forgotten to mention my major complaint. CODE MASTERS YOU Incompetent gits, you promised me that I could rain down death and destruction. Take the first mission for example, my so called commander phones up on a radio lodged somewhere deep inside my brain and tells me I can call in a fire support mission. F*** YEAH I thought to myself as that feeling of GLEE and JOY returned. I march down to my next target which was some village or something and select the targets I want. What ensued in the next 30 seconds brought a feeling of sadness to my heart, BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM and then the barrage was over. Am I losing my shit I thought to myself, the promise which Code masters made was that the explosions and other pretty things which go boom, were suppose to look realistic and nice to look at. Now yes I am fully aware that war isn’t pretty, however I do know it is suppose to be spectacular when you see an artillery barrage. If I was in the trenches and were German I would have pissed myself laughing during the battle of the Somme because I wouldn’t have even called that a barrage. I would have called that test firing my guns.

Especially when one mission is suppose to allow you to blow up some Chinese general in a radio shack with the biggest bomb in the game, which basically turned out to be a glorified fire work.

Ok so now that I have had my rant about the fire support missions being shit; allow me to express my feelings to NPC characters. WTF were the developers of the game smoking when they decided to give you control of 3 people and allow you to go into a hostile environment which you are outnumbered. By outnumbered imagine 1 black guy stuck in the middle of the deep south during the 1950's with a load of guys wearing pillow cases and bed sheets as their clothes. That how I felt, f***ed over. Your Commander has you do some really crazy missions which at the same time are as bland as a virgin nun; they have no spice in them or their voices. Furthermore what the hell is the big deal about getting shot once and lying on the floor dying like a paraplegic drunken 16 year old who has had too much to drink and spewed all over her boyfriends new jacket. The craziness comes from the fact that no marine, no matter how stupid he may be, would allow himself to be sent on such retarded missions with a team who are built up of 3 other men who all have an extra chromosome. I mean when I am dying and I call for a medic to come over, the actually retard named Avery, stands above you with a syringe and may or may not pump you with it to heal you. By May or may not I mean the stupid glitch which makes the medic freeze over you like he is epileptic or something. Wait one minute, didn’t Code masters say this was supposed to be realistic, then why the f**k can I have grenades and shit thrown at me, lie dying then continue to run the bloody London marathon again just because I get stabbed with what looks like heroine.

Ok so let’s finally get to what the game is about, now normally you would see a reviewer go through what the plot was about but the thing about OPF2 is that you don't actually know WTF the plot is about. It says the game is about some oil but then again wasn’t the Iraq war about that yet we still don't full know wtf it's about, just like this shitty game. As for the characters you play with, unlike call of duty 4 where you grow with your character and feel as though you have a bond with him, OPF2 has none of that, mainly because you switch between more than three characters even more times than a phillopeno transvestite changes gender. You literally don't know who the fuck you are, a bit like a night out at Saturday night but you have the hangover before you have any of the fun.

Multiplayer-OH F*** OFF, how can people expect me to rate multi player when all you can do is find around 5 of the same people playing this god forsaken game, then join their lobby's waiting for another 3 people to balance this shit out only to find yourself dropped into a world which is so laggy, you character jumps backwards and forwards like a Grandma with Alzheimer’s does to the kitchen. Then when you can have a decent amount of Ping, some twat fly's into the only gunship on the game and decided to perform a f**king strafing run on your spawn point, talk about balanced game play

Ok so by no means is this the worst, game I have ever played, but it is nowhere near the standard of quality I was promised by Code masters. Mainly due to the fact that, something which was suppose to be so great, turned out to be so crap.Anyhow this game which had so much potential, kind of got a bit ruined by these being broken, and the shoddy AI with the glitches and feel of the game.

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